Why passion disappears in long-term relationships

A new review published by Nature Review psychology provides a new revelation for one of the most mysterious aspects of romantic relationships: sexual desire. The study, conducted by Professor Gurit Birnbaum of Reichmann University and Professor Amy Muise of York University, reveals how sexual attraction serves as a relationship catalyst and long-term partnership potential damage points in.
Their comprehensive analysis combines the results of twenty years of research, which challenges traditional wisdom to maintain a passion for relationships. This study sheds light on how sexual desire that initially fuses partners has become increasingly vulnerable over time, potentially leading to the dissolution of relationships in today’s dating environment where alternative partners seem to be “involved” It’s sliding.”
“Sexual desire is sometimes considered spontaneous, but in reality, it is shaped by a wide range of biological, social and psychological factors,” explains Professor Birnbaum of the Baruch Ivcher School of Psychology at Richmann University. “Understanding desire is not given, but a dynamic process that may affect, may help couples maintain sparks over time and maintain this relationship in the face of internal crises and external temptations.”
Research shows that the “honeymoon” of strong desires usually lasts for one to two and a half years. However, some couples have managed to maintain a high desire over decades, which goes against a common trajectory of decline. The key may be to understand how desires play differently at various stages of relationships.
The evolution of attraction
The study provides evidence that sexual desire is intuitive partner value throughout the relationship. In the early stages, desires primarily respond to surface-level attributes, such as body attraction. As interpersonal relationships deepen, it becomes more adaptable to qualities such as emotional stability and responsiveness to partner needs.
The researchers identified an interesting paradox: While emotional intimacy is crucial to maintaining desire, retaining a certain degree of separation between partners may help maintain sexual attraction. This discovery challenges the general belief that maximum intimacy always favors romantic relationships.
Biological impacts and life changes
The review also explores biological factors, including hormone changes during pregnancy, parenting, and aging, affecting sexual dynamics in the relationship. For example, new fathers often experience hormone changes that may affect their sexual desire, and women’s attractive patterns may fluctuate with their menstrual cycle.
Major life changes, such as becoming a parent or entering menopause, can seriously affect sexual desire. However, research shows that maintaining emotional intimacy during these periods can help buffer the negative effects on sexual satisfaction.
Modern Challenges of Relationship Stabilization
In the age of dating apps and expanding relationship choices, the study found that in the Western case, between 20 and 70 percent of people engage in infidelity at some point in their lives. However, the researchers also identified protective factors that could help couples maintain loyalty, including shared social networks and the ability to see the situation from a partner’s perspective.
Interestingly, the review found that relationship satisfaction alone does not guarantee loyalty—some people are pursuing external relationships despite being satisfied with their current partner. This finding highlights the complex interactions between individual, relationship and situational factors in maintaining long-term relationships.
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The researchers stressed that their findings are of great significance to couple therapy and relationship education. Taking desire as a dynamic process rather than a fixed feature suggests that couples can actively work to maintain sexual connection.
As dating apps and changing social norms continue to reshape modern relationships, this study provides valuable insights to maintain lasting connections in an increasingly complex romantic landscape. The study calls for further research on various relationship structures and cultural contexts to better understand how sexual desire plays a role among different populations and relationship models.
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